just...

Expectations…

1.	the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation.

2.	the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

3.	an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.

4.	something expected; a thing looked forward to.

5.	Often, expectations. a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations.

6.	the degree of probability that something will occur: There is little expectation that he will come.

Is it easy to just stop expecting? Why do we expect? Why do all relationships, become so calculated?

A Lie…

1.	a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

2.	something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture:

3.	an inaccurate or false statement.

We all lie, lie to save our asses, lie to show something we are not, lie to impress, lie to look good…

The most effortless way according to me is to be yourself.

Alive…

1. having life; living; existing; not dead or lifeless.
2. in a state of action; in force or operation; active: to keep hope alive.

I am hoping i`m gonna live once… and I am not doing justice to this one life I have.

Let go…

to move or proceed, esp. to or from something:

to leave a place; depart

to act so as to come into a certain state or condition:

some of my paintings..

A wedding invitation




















Rubber wood Coasters





A cushion Cover

my favourite song

Aaj Shab Jo Chaand Ne Hai Roothane Ki Thaan Li
Gardishon Mein Hai Sitaare Baat Hamane Maan Li
Andheri Syaah Jindagi Ko Sujhati Nahi Gali
Ke Aaj Haath Thaamlo Ik Haath Ki Kami ?Khali
Kyun Khoye Khoye Chaand Ki Firaaq Mein Talaash Mein Udaas Hai Dil
Kyun Apane Aap Se Khafa Khafa Jara Jaraasa Naaraaj Hai Dil
Yeh Manjilein Bhi Khudahi Tay Kare, Yeh Faasalein Bhi Khudhi Tay Kare
Kyu Toh Rasto Pe Phir Seham Seham Sanbhal Sanbhal Ke Chalta Hai Ye Dil
Kyun Khoye Khoye Chaand Ki Firaaq Mein Talaash Mein Udaas Hai Dil

Jindagi Sawaalon Ke Jawaab Dhudnein Chali
Jawaab Mein Sawaalon Ki Ik Lambi Si Ladi Mili
Sawaal Hi Sawaal Hain Sujhti Nahi Gali
Ke Aaj Haath Thaamlo Ik Haath Ki Kami ?Khali
Ji Mein Aata Hai Murda Sitaare Noch Loon
Idhar Bhi Noch Loon, Udhar Bhi Noch Loon
Ek Jikr Kya
Main Saare Noch Loon
Main Saare Noch Loon
Idhar Bhi Noch Loon, Udhar Bhi Noch Loon
Sitaare Noch Loon Main Saare Noch Loon
Idhar Bhi Noch Loon, Udhar Bhi Noch Loon
Sitaare Noch Loon Main Saare Noch Loon
Kyun Tu Aaj Itna Vaishi Hai, Mijaaj Mein Majaaj Hai Ai Gam-E-Dil
Kyun Apane Aap Se Khafa Khafa Jara Jaraasa Naaraaj Hai Dil
Yeh Manjilein Bhi Khudahi Tay Kare, Yeh Faasalein Bhi Khudhi Tay Kare
Kyu Toh Rasto Pe Phir Seham Seham Sanbhal Sanbhal Ke Chalta Hai Ye Dil
Kyun Khoye Khoye Chaand Ki Firaaq Mein Talaash Mein Udaas Hai Dil
Dil Ko Samajhaana Keh Do Kya Aasaan Hai
Dil Ko Fitrat Se Sunlo Na Beimaan Hai
Yeh Khush Nahi Jo Mila, Bas Maangata Hi Hai Chala
Jaanata Hai Har Lagi Ka Dard Hi Hai Bas Ik Sila
Jab Kabhi Yeh Dil Laga Dard Hi Hamein Mila
Dil Ki Har Lagi Ka Sunlo Dard Hi Hai Ik Sila
Jab Kabhi Yeh Dil Laga Dard Hi Hamein Mila
Dil Ki Har Lagi Ka Sunlo Dard Hi Hai Ik Sila
Kyun Naye Naye Se Dard Ki Firaaq Mein Talaash Mein Udaas Hai Dil
( Kyun Apane Aap Se Khafa Khafa Jara Jaraasa Naaraaj Hai Dil
Yeh Manjilein Bhi Khudahi Tay Kare, Yeh Faasalein Bhi Khudhi Tay Kare
Kyu Toh Rasto Pe Phir Seham Seham Sanbhal Sanbhal Ke Chalta Hai Ye Dil

close to my heart

This is about my soul-mate, my best friend. And this was about 14 years back, I was in the 1st year of college and he was in his 3rd year. Me in foundation and he is specialization. Specializing in Painting.
I don't even remember how I got to know him, and how we became friends.We spent a lot of time, near the college canteen, in the "gutter" buying chai on credit.I used to listen to his stories, about his girlfriend, and what his weekend plans were, what he though of her and all of that.
He used to live in college, in a small room, my job was to bring him parathas every morning for breakfast. I was called Moti by him. Infact once he got me an auto, back home and he told the auto-wallah, "bhaiya dhyan se le jaana, yeh roll ho jaathi hai" The damn driver, kept turning back to see if I was still in the auto, everytime he jammed the brake.
We used to write letters to each other, between semesters,our holidays, living in the same city, and only a few kilometres away from each other. Buying an inland letter sheet, and going to the post office to buy stamps, was a lot more personal than clicking ENTER !
It was my birthday and he made a painting, for me.. It was me looking into his room window, we had had a fight at that point, so he came to my house at 6:30 in the morning, left the painting at my door step with flowers and left. Ofcourse we patched up after that.
Days past, and we did our rituals of chai, and gossiping, he pulling my leg.. the usual college fun.
One evening he was at my place, having chai with my mom(which was a regular feature) and said there were some artists down from Russia, and he had instructions from our Principal to take them out for dinner, and that he had to go.That was the last I saw of him. He met with an accident that same night, while crossing the road,an ambulance hit him.(yes an ambulance)
My friend called the next morning, which was a Sunday saying, he had met with an accident and was in Victoria Hospital. I dint think, he was not even there anymore..
Those were the longest two days of my life. From sending a message to his mom, to his funeral,he never left my sight.
For days after that I used to see him in my dreams..we had a perfect relationship, it dint have a name to it, no conformity. It dint last too long, because there is nothing called 'Perfect' in this world.

Ramblings..

I initiated this blog sometime last year, and completely forgot about it. It suddenly popped up recently, so I decided to make use of it.
I have always been very envious about writers.. and hate their play with words,big words,intelligent words,creative lines, all of that. Now that I am in advertising, my envy has only turned into hatred for the writers.
I write a lot. I love buying note books, of all shapes and sizes just so that I can write.. I write and forget about it, or just lying in between books, in my bag with bills and junk. I thought this was a nice space to make use of the little I do in the name of writing. I`m self obsessed, (not literally)write about how i`m feeling most of the times,mostly bad. Sometimes write about people I see, either on a holiday or a journey. It`s fun to just observe people, and make imaginary stories about them.
I remember this one time, I was on my way to Mumbai, and due to bad weather and turbulence we had to make a diversion to Ahmadabad. Ahmadabad the doors were opened, for re-fueling. A girl who was in the flight was so paranoid, that wanted to get off at Ahmadabad, and was crying. She literally stormed out of the open door. The crew had to stop her, saying for safety reasons we cant let you go. It was quite a sight. The girl must`ve been in her early 20`s, not that she was very young.

This is one such episode.. but I have seen some really funny sights. Maybe they just appeared funny to me... and totally the opposite for the person in it.